A schism develops in the Burgas household!

Yes, it's true. A few days ago, Norah created a Thanksgiving tree at school. She drew and colored a trunk and then affixed two hands to the top. The teachers asked her what she was thankful for and then wrote it on the hands. Here it is, in all its glory:

Notice anyone missing? That's right, she's not thankful for Mommy! The funny thing was, Krys joked with Norah that she was very sad, and of course, being four, Norah took it very seriously and almost cried. She then petted Krys's leg and told her how much she loved her. Crisis averted!

I just love how her toys, of course, take precedent over everything, including Daddy. Norah has her priorities straight!

(By the way, do you like her name on the right side of the tree? That's how she writes it currently. We're trying to change it, but she stubbornly resists our instructions. But she knows how to spell it!)

The other day I asked Norah to do something and I got a rather cheery "Yes, sir!"

I don't know where that came from. I asked her to take something back to her room, and she did it immediately, but I'm just not sure where she got the "sir" part from. I mean, I call most men I know "sir" if I don't call them by their names (I refuse to call people "dude"), but I don't say it around Norah, because she's not, you know, a dude. She must have heard it somewhere.

It's certainly better than the "whatever" she threw at Krys over the weekend. Boy, was that a mistake. We assumed she picked that up at school, because I don't think I've heard it on the television shows she watches. Krys was extremely unhappy with her over that. I'll take the "Yes, sir!" any day.

School issues with Mia

A few weeks ago Krys went to Mia's first parent-teacher conference (I was sick that week, so I was lying on the couch trying not to die). Her teacher told her the usual stuff, and we all moved on. Then, last week, her teacher sent a note home that told of Mia's poor behavior, from pushing things away from her when she doesn't want to learn to problems when they try to get her to do physical stuff. Her teacher was most concerned about her falling behind the other kids, which she's starting to do severely. They have been working hard to get her to eat, and she's doing fairly well in that regard (I haven't weighed her recently, but I have to think she's gained something, as she's eating decently at home too), but now they're trying to get her up to speed academically, and she's just not keeping up. This does not come as news to us - Mia is very slow to learn anything. She has a good long-term memory, but getting stuff into her long-term memory is a serious chore. I was more concerned with the behavioral stuff.

I spoke to her teacher, who invited me to observe one day to see what they were doing with her. I went last Friday to check it out, but it wasn't really an observation, because we were discussing with her physical therapist and occupational therapist what to do with her in the classroom. I told the teacher I think part of the problem is that she's feeling much better, both because her hip is finally healed enough (she was back on her horse this past week, which is nice) and because she's eating more, thus she has more strength. This, I think, leads to a bit of boredom on her part, and I'm not sure if the teachers are doing enough to move her around, because she needs to move around a bit! So when I went into her class, I showed them a bit of what they can do with her. Her home PT is going to visit the class next week to help them out a bit more with that. As usual with Mia, they are worried that they're hurting her when they move her, because she whines so much. Mia is quite smart, and she knows that she can manipulate people into feeling sorry for her. She also anticipates movement hurting more than it does, so she starts whining almost before you touch her. I've grown immune to it, but people who don't know her that well - like her teachers - think she's in immense pain, so they don't challenge her. I told them that they need to warn her when they're moving her and that it's not going to hurt, and if she cries, they start what they're doing all over again, so she doesn't get away with it. I also told them that she can, with minimal help, sit up when she falls over, so instead of just lifting her up, they should try to help her sit up on her own. Mia tires so easily that she's become a bit lazy, and everyone needs to make her work harder to get what she wants. They, of course, are terrified of causing her some real damage and any subsequent lawsuit which would stem from that, and I understand that, but it doesn't mean they shouldn't make her do some work!

As for the academic problems, it's a bit more vexing. For the last two years, Mia has been in a class with several different grade levels, so the teachers worked with her very individually and didn't worry about where she was in relation to other kids. Now she's in a class with all second-graders, and while they're special education kids, they are more advanced than Mia is. It's not a big class, and they have at least three teachers (the head teacher and two aides) in there (there's another aide, but I'm not sure if he's full-time), so giving Mia individual attention isn't a problem. I'm not sure why the teacher is so worried about her falling behind the other kids, because each special needs kid has an IEP (Individualized Education Program, in case you're new around here) and by law, they need to tailor a curriculum for her. So what the other kids are doing shouldn't matter. Her teacher got in touch with her teacher from last year, who gave her some tips about how to deal with Mia (lots of short breaks, because her attention span is so short), and I hope that helps, but I'm not sure why I care where Mia is in relation to the other kids. I assume her teacher is worried because she might have to be "held back," but I think everyone knew she would never work at her grade level. It's very frustrating, because I think they don't want to move her to third grade because she won't be ready for it, but they don't want to keep her second grade because she'll be too old. This is why I was so happy with her previous school - they worked at her speed, and we'd decide once she reached sixth grade age if she was ready to move on to junior high. The discrete elementary grades didn't matter all that much.

So what to do? Well, her teacher is going to wait until the end of the quarter and assess her. I have to call the Special Ed. coordinator, who checks in on Mia, and a teacher who comes into the classroom to assist with her specifically, and see what they think. Her teacher suggested a "moderately disabled" class for Mia, but I'd have to check that out, because the moderately disabled class next to hers last year was full of kids who were barely verbal. Mia would have been the most advanced kid in there, and I don't want her to be the most advanced kid in a class - I'd rather her be in a class like the one she's in now, because then she can have role models to whom she can aspire. Unfortunately, that's not looking so good right now.

I hope her teachers can get it figured out. I have a feeling that if they move her around more, she'll calm down a bit and maybe focus more. If she doesn't, we have options. We thought about moving her to a different school district with better special education facilities, and that's still an option. We're just frustrated because Mia was in such a good place the last two years and the school district "couldn't afford" it anymore. So now she's in a bit of a limbo situation. We get that it's a challenge educating her. You know what? Don't get into special education if you don't want a challenge!

"Underpants!"

Tonight Krys was reading a Fancy Nancy book to Norah. At one point Nancy didn't want to go on the jungle gym because she was wearing a fancy nightgown and if she hung upside down, everyone would see her underpants. Norah totally cracked up when Krys said "underpants." She laughed pretty much uncontrollably, and at one point said, in between chuckles, "I can't stop laughing!" She kept wanting Krys to read the passage again so she could laugh again. She kept saying "Underpants!" and giggling. She is, of course, adorable when she laughs. She finally calmed down, but it's good to know that something innocuous like underpants can make her so very happy.

Mia: There is no good news!

Yes, we'd like to think there's good news and bad news when it comes to Mia, but recently, it's been nothing but bad news. I wrote recently that her hip got screwed up one night (it's true - here it is!), and we've been dealing with that. This past week was "fall break," so I was at home with both lovely children. This wasn't as awful as you might think, because I scheduled a bunch of appointments for them for this week, so we were zipping around a lot, plus there was the usual stuff - Little Gym, Norah's swim lessons, and Mia's therapy. However, Mia chose this week to get sick. We're still not sure what's wrong with her - she has a cough (which is greatly improved today) but nothing else. Her nose is a teeny bit runny, and she had a mild fever the one time Krys took her temperature, but that was it. Of course, everyone knows what happens when you get a bit of a cold (and the clogged sinuses that go with it) - you lose your appetite. The skeletal Mia really can't afford this, but she decided around Wednesday to stop eating anything, and then late on Thursday, she decided liquids really weren't her thing either. So for two days (Friday and Saturday) she was wildly dehydrated and we kept thinking we'd have to take her to the hospital. This morning she woke up and drank something, so we held off that drastic measure, but she's still barely eating and drinking anything. We think she's healthy enough (cough-wise) to go to school tomorrow - maybe they'll be able to get her to eat. If not, a trip to the hospital to get her pumped up with fluids might be in order.

But that's not all! On Thursday morning we went back to the orthopedic surgeon for a follow-up X-ray. At least her "avulsion fracture" of a "heterotopic bone" is healing. It's still not perfect, but she's able to stand on it (she was standing on it in therapy on Friday and is standing in her gait trainer as I type this), and as it heals, presumably she'll be able to get back into a regular therapy routine. I guess that's sort of good news?

After that, it was off to the dentist for their six-month check-up, and more bad news! After her surgery, we started brushing her teeth less vigorously, because she would twist her hips when we brushed, causing her pain, causing her to cry, causing her to gag. In the past nine months or so she's thrown up more than once as a result of brushing her teeth too vigorously. I wish I were making that up. Of course, that means her teeth aren't as pristine as they should be, especially the permanent molars that are growing in. So they were caked with plaque, and now she needs them "sealed." Nothing more fun than dentistry! I tried brushing her teeth more vigorously, and of course, on Friday night, she puked when I did. Yay, brain injuries!

She has been much better today. She is drinking and eating a tiny bit, as opposed to nothing, and she's been in a better mood. She's obviously strong enough to do work (she's been standing in her gait trainer for about an hour), so I hope we can get back to that with her other therapies. Before the avulsion fracture, she was making some good progress in the physical aspect of her therapy, and that will, presumably, make her a bit more eager to eat and drink. She has an appointment with her gastroenterologist soon, and if she's not making any progress, she's going to have to get a feeding tube installed. Yay, more surgery! Good times!

Oh well. Norah is precocious as ever, and Mia is slowly getting better, so I hope that continues. It's frustrating when she gets sick, because she has absolutely no weight to spare for when she loses her appetite. That's our biggest concern. But we keeping working!

Norah thinks pimpin' ain't easy

Among the vast cache of toys we have in the house, there's a plastic container full of magnetized blocks. Many of them are plastic cylinders with magnets at both ends, while others are balls that attach to the magnets. Norah dug them out of the toy basket this week and started playing with them. Without me even noticing, she made this:

I'm not entirely sure why she made a cane, as no one in her immediate orbit uses one, but there it is. My little girl made her first pimp cane. I'm so proud. All she needs now is a wide-brimmed hat with some plumage and she'll be set!

Norah: Keepin' it real!

Tonight at dinner, Norah said to me, "You're real, Daddy." I'm not sure what she meant, but okay. Krys said, "Yeah, Daddy is keeping it real." Without missing a beat, Norah said, "I'm keeping it real, too."

I often tell Krys that we should have microphones all throughout the house, because then we would catch all these fun things Norah says that later we can't remember. But for now, Norah is keeping it real. That's good to know.

What's wrong with Mia's ear?

Beats me. Check it out:

You can see a small red mark on the top of her ear. I couldn't get any closer without my camera rebelling and refusing to focus, but it looks worse in real life. We're not sure what it is - it looks like she or someone else cut the skin with, say, a fingernail, because the wound is very small and not deep. The edges around it are raised a bit, indicating a scar, but we didn't notice it until Sunday, and her OT, who watched them on Saturday night while the wife and I saw a movie, didn't notice anything. She did notice the way her ear was shaped, though (it's a bit odd, if you can tell), so she was looking at her ear. Perhaps it was just too dark to see - it was night, and we don't have extremely bright lights in the living room. It doesn't seem to be bothering her, and I'm not worried about it, but it looks weird. I wonder what it could be?

Mia's hip saga: Still Not Over!

Yes, we thought we had moved beyond Mia's hip problems. We're foolish mortals, yes we are.

Her hip is still fine. At least there's that. But here's the problem: On Monday, 31 August, Mia went to bed fine. She had been doing well with her rehab, even walking a little bit with her PT, and we were getting her standing a lot more. However, sometime in the night of 31 August-1 September, something happened. We're not exactly sure what. She didn't cry out in pain during the night, or if we did, we didn't hear her. When she woke up in the morning her legs were really stiff, and she wasn't happy. Over the next two days she was extremely tight, to the point even when she was sitting, she would twitch a little and start crying. It was somewhat frustrating. Eventually, she started to calm down when she was sitting, but she still didn't want to straighten her legs out. After a week of this, I took her to her pediatrician just to eliminate the idea that she had an infection. She didn't have any infection, and her pediatrician worked on her hip for a little and she didn't scream in pain. He thought it was just that her muscles were really, really tight and she needed to stretch more. We still didn't know why her muscles would suddenly be so tight, but okay.

We continued to work on her muscles. I called her orthopedic surgeon and spoke to his nurse, who said that if there was something really wrong with her hip, she'd be getting worse and the pain would be more intense at night, but she was sleeping fine. So we kept stretching her. This week, however, her PT was working on her, and after an hour of stretching her, the muscle on the inside of her groin was still extremely tight. Her PT said that if it was just a case of her muscles being tight, stretching would work, but it's not. So I called the orthopedic surgeon back and got her in for an X-ray. Yay, X-rays!

Mia went in on Thursday for the X-ray. I'm still not sure what the deal is, because I have to e-mail the doctor to get his opinion. He told me what he thinks, but I don't want to get it wrong. On her right leg, there's a triangle coming from her femur toward her groin. He said it was a bone, but I don't understand how that wouldn't freak him out and get her into surgery right away. He said he'd have to compare it to her old X-rays, but he didn't think it was that big a deal. He told me we'd just have to "let it heal," and that he wanted her to come back in four weeks. I'm still not sure what's wrong with her. It's nothing major, obviously, because she doesn't need more surgery. He said we should keep stretching her, and whatever she can handle in therapy is fine, but we shouldn't push her too much.

She is getting better, but it's still tough picking her up and moving her around. We are once again putting on her leg braces at night to keep her legs straight, which she seems to appreciate, but she wasn't happy about the foam wedge that was keeping her legs apart. Her adductor muscles are so tight that separating her legs really bothers her, so we figure it's better to work on the adductors by stretching them in therapy rather than putting the wedge on. We hope we can put it on her soon, because it does a good job stretching her adductors. If only she would leave it alone instead of weeping when we put it on her.

So we're still working with her, and we're still in the dark as to what happened to her. Her PT thinks she may have been sleeping in an odd position (we had stopped putting the leg braces on because she didn't seem to need them) and had a seizure or muscle spasm and twisted an odd way. That's really the only thing we can think of, as it definitely happened when she was in bed and therefore not moving too much. We hope that it doesn't happen, again, obviously, whatever it was! But as long as her surgeon isn't too freaked out by it, we're not going to be. We just need to keep her loose and hope whatever is afflicting her heals and she begin rehabilitating in earnest. That would be nice.

Norah had a playdate!

Yes, this past Thursday (10 September), Norah had her first playdate. You might wonder why she's two months past her fourth birthday and hasn't had a playdate yet (well, you might). It's basically because her father has never made one for her, so she didn't know the concept even existed. She always seemed perfectly happy doing her thing, so I never went out of my way to set one up.

Then, last week, while she was at her swimming lesson, one of the boys that has been hanging out with her there for some time asked her if she wanted to have a playdate. So I set it up with his mother, and on Thursday, he came over with his dad. It was quite fun. Norah and Alex played inside for a while with her kitchen and her garage, and then they went in the pool for a while. His dad had to leave a little early for a business phone call, but we're planning on getting together again soon.

Norah cracks me up when it comes to kids her age. I don't know if she's typical or not in this regard. She tends to do her own thing and, if any kid comes over, she'll play with them. She doesn't really seek out kids too much. Mia's speech therapist asked if she hangs out more with girls or boys, as girls her age tend to play with other girls. She asked that because Norah keeps telling us about the two boys at school she plays with. Naturally, one is a "good guy" (her words) and the other often takes her toys. Ah, the classic good boy/bad boy dilemma! And now there's Alex. Where will he fit in???? Norah acts like an only child quite a bit (not surprisingly, I suppose), as she amuses herself very easily. I have seen her go up to kids and start playing with them, but I know it's more likely to be the other way around. Therefore, she doesn't care who she plays with - boy or girl, it's all good to her!

She was very excited about her playdate, and I hope she has fun with any others she might have. She's already stringing the boys along!