The Daughter Chronicles

Sunday, November 15, 2015

Mia's bra and other teenage stuff

Mia turned 13 in August (I'm so old!!!!), but she didn't become a "teenager" until November, when Krys bought her some bras. Mia has had some adult developments for a few years, but recently, her breasts have gotten just big enough that Krys started to worry that she was becoming uncomfortable. She decided it was time for Mia to start wearing bras, and so it was done! Mia thinks it's all very humorous, of course - for years, she has enjoyed pointing out "boobies" on Mommy and Daddy (yes, she does it to me, which is technically correct, I guess, but obviously different), and she likes mentioning her own "boobies" as well. Now she enjoys telling us about her bra when we put it on her. Right now, she still isn't very developed, but it's nice that she's perfectly happy with her new undergarments, because it bodes well for the future.

A few days after she started wearing her bra, the second thing happened. Yes, she got her period, which we've been anticipating for at least two years. We've been taking her to the endocrinologist to get her checked, because we wanted to make sure that we were prepared for it. He told us that we can give her hormones to regulate her a bit, but there was a catch: insurance companies won't pay for it until she actually goes through a menstrual cycle. My question, of course, is How would they know? I mean, I get that the doctor wouldn't want to prescribe it if she hadn't gone through a menstrual cycle, but what if we just lied to him? When she finally started bleeding last week, I called the doctor to let him know, and it's not like he asked for proof or anything. It's just weird. Anyway, she started bleeding, and there was ... much rejoicing? I mean, not really, but at least the waiting was over. She didn't seem to feel any discomfort or pain, which is nice, and it wasn't a very heavy flow, so that was nice too. Norah has been freaking out a little about getting her period (which is, let's hope, still three years away) because she thought there would be a lot of blood, so she was happy to see that Mia didn't bleed very much. I don't think Krys had the heart to tell her that everybody is different, but I guess she'll find that out soon enough!

So the doctor prescribed birth control pills, because that's what they do. We give her the pills but skip the placebo week, just moving on to more of the actual pills. This means she'll still get the benefits of the hormones your body produces but won't bleed. The doctor told us that once or twice a year we should give her the placebo so that she can get cleaned out a bit, which is just one of those things that, not for the first time, makes me glad I'm a man. We started giving her the pills today, and we'll see how that goes. As I'm often dealing with her by myself, I really didn't want to deal with a lot of blood, so I hope the birth control pills work. I have no reason to think they won't!

Mia's transition to adulthood makes me think about what we're going to do with her as she ages. A lot of people have expressed admiration that we've dealt with having a special needs kid, which never made sense to me - I mean, she's our kid, what are we going to do? But having a child with special needs seems easy compared to having an adult daughter with special needs. I mean, she's hard to deal with right now, but we knew we'd have to raise a kid when we decided to have kids. We didn't anticipate having her after she turned 21 or so, but it's coming faster than we might want, and it's something we're going to have to deal with. I know a few people with adult special needs kids, and there are plenty of programs for them, but it's still terrifying. Of course, even further down the road is what's going to happen after we're dead, but that's not as immediate as Mia growing up and needing something to do and someplace to go. We still have time, but we know we have to start thinking about it.

So yeah, having a child with special needs is hard. But man, it sounds easy when I think about what's coming. These past few weeks have just been a fun reminder of the future! Yay!


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